Death: Changes in behaviour

At times children may seem unaffected by the death and play happily as if nothing has happened. But this change of behaviour is a way of expressing feelings they can’t talk about.

These could include:

• Clinginess. Refusing to be left or clinging to you or someone else can be how your child expresses the need for reassurance that you aren’t going to die and leave them too.
• Distance. Some children can put up a barrier with remaining members of the family because they’re scared of getting hurt again. They might want to spend more time away from home, with friends or at school.
• Aggression. This may be your child’s way of expressing helplessness in the face of loss.
• Regression. How children respond to death can vary a lot from day to day. Acting like a younger child can be a sign of insecurity. Young children may start wetting or soiling themselves, or want a long-forgotten bottle or dummy. They may become more prone to illness or even lose weight.
• Lack of concentration. Your child may find it hard to concentrate at school and fall behind with their work.
• Sleep problems. Your child may find it hard to sleep and become afraid of the dark.